This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.