He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
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I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
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Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey