Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom