Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
