Pappa wants mamma naked
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
