It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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