Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
