You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
