I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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