Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
