Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
