is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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