TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
