Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
