and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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