Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize