yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
