So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just cropdusted the office
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
