3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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