How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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