youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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