She's JV to your varsity
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
