I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
