She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
