im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
