He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
