I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They took my balls.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
