3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
