Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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