Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize