she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
