he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
