the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
