i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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