What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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