You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
