just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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