i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize