I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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