I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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