i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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