Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
