im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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