I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
