That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
