you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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