I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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