She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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