I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
