How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
