Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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