I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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