We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
