Just fell off a train. Bad.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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