i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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