is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
