I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
