Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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