alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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