Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
