Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
