I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
