I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
