He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
